Feng Shui for Love

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Bad luck dating?

You meet a great guy or gal, things seem to be going well, but then one day for apparently no reason your calls aren't returned. Was it something you said? Or was it your bedspread? If your dates mysteriously disappear after seeing your place for the first time, then it's time to check your décor.

There's a good chance your surroundings are the turn-off. Help may be available from “Feng Shui for Love Augmented Reality,” a new iPhone app designed by home and lifestyle experts Laura Carlin and Alison Forbes. As you scan rooms through your camera viewfinder, the app rates your spaces for love, wealth and health. By following the app's suggestions, you can make adjustments to troubled areas and compensate for issues. What follows after Feng Shui, more often than not, is an improvement in those parts of your life, the app's creators say.

Carlin and Forbes offer these decorating do's and don'ts for singles.

>> Don't fill your home with pictures, letters, and belongings from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Letting go of photographs, letters, and mementos from past relationships presents a challenge for many, and spending time with intimate memories from your past can sometimes be a healing and empowering experience. However, if looking at these photographs and letters is not healing or empowering, or if they are keeping you tied to someone who is no longer in your life, then it is time to let them go. Instead, surround yourself with things that reinforce who you are now and who you want to be. Looking for a new relationship is a time of looking forward to your future, not being bogged down in your past.

>> Don't live in a bachelor pad or little girl's room. Rooms that look they are designed for girls and boys rather than men and women are a turn-off. If you are a man, avoid the “college frat room look” or the “bachelor pad” (i.e. mattress on the floor, futons, shot glass collections, high school trophies, dirty dishes in the sink, clutter, etc.). Women won't think you're looking for something serious if you live like you're in college. If you are a woman, avoid a room or apartment that resembles your room at your childhood home (i.e. doll collections, stuffed animals on the bed, too much lace or pink, sorority signs, baskets of dried flowers, furniture that looks like it is meant for teenagers).

>>Don't have excessive pictures of friends, family, and other people's children, as well as too many pictures from one particular time in the past, such as college. Too many pictures of other people's lives and a particular time in your life can divert focus from your life in the present moment. Create space for new people in your life and a new “best time of your life” by creating room for new photos. In addition, too many pictures of family, friends and even children in the bedroom, do not help set the stage for romance. You don't need t be thinking of friends and family while trying to be romantic. Establish privacy by removing photos.

>> Don't have a television in the bedroom. Ideally, the bedroom should serve only two purposes: rest and romance. Yet, because of laptops, televisions, and phones, bedrooms are often more like media rooms than sensual and peaceful retreats. Don't let a television replace a partner in your life.

>>Don't have lots of "Single Women Art." Your home is a reflection of your state of mind, so surround yourself with images that reflect your goals (such as pictures of romantic places, happy couples or things in two's) and evoke positive, uplifting feelings.

>>Do live in a home that balances the feminine or masculine. A home that is overly feminine may not invite masculine energy; a home that is too masculine may not support feminine energy. By creating a home that balances the masculine and feminine you are creating an environment that invites and supports a relationship.

>> Do set up your home for two people. Symbolically and physically make space for your future partner. Add a second side table, push the bed away from the wall, or add a reading lamp, and make sure there are places for two people to eat together or hang out. Act “as if” you are already in a relationship.

>> Do commit to your home and live full out. Many people wait for a partner before buying or decorating a home, because they want to wait until they have a “real” home (which is frequently associated with getting married, registering for gifts, and buying a house). By surrounding yourself with things you don't love, that are not in good condition, or things that you feel are second-rate, you're subconsciously telling yourself that you don't deserve better. It's important to invest in yourself now and to embrace the present. By doing so you send a message that you are worthy, and you are surrendering and accepting where you are now, which often leads to change.

>>Do decorate with romantic colors. Color has an impact on our emotions. An all white room or a room with little color can "cool off" a relationship. To promote romance in your life, decorate the bedroom with sensual colors, like skin tones such as beige and chocolate, or use shades of red, the color associated with passion and love, like burgundy and terracotta. Adding color makes your home more fun, flirty, and sexy. On the other hand, too much of one very string color can be overwhelming, so don't paint the room all red--too much of red can increase arguments and make it hard to sleep.

>>Do live in a clutter-free, organized, beautiful space. Clutter collects dust, stagnates energy and just weighs on our minds. It also keeps us tied to the past and blocks new and better things from coming into our lives. Being disorganized does not make us feel good about ourselves and negatively affects our self-esteem. We often feel behind, unsuccessful, or not "together" when we can't find things. When your home is set up properly it can nurture, encourage, and inspire you to achieve your goals. You can even think of your home as your new best friend — a positive sounding board that is as supportive as a good friend, but also keeps you in check by constantly reflecting your true state back to you.